


a is for awesomesauce

by Bluebell Barricade (FuzzyPurplePenguins)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ace character, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - University, Chatting & Messaging, Clint Barton is a Walking Disaster, Discovering One’s Self, F/F, Foster Family, M/M, More Relationships As I Figure Them Out, Oops ‘Spoiler’ But I Need To Tag It, Queer Characters, Queer Themes, Sexuality is a SPECTRUM PEOPLE, This is Honestly Just 90 Percent Shenanigans, Trans Character, University Setting is Mostly Background, group chats, oblivious idiots in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-02-16 13:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18692839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuzzyPurplePenguins/pseuds/Bluebell%20Barricade
Summary: Broken microwaves, broken bones, SCIENCE!, oblivious idiots, shenanigans, and RA Phil Coulson being eternally done.or: The group chat of friends who all live in the co-ed Avengers Dorm at Shield University.





	1. Tony Breaks a Microwave and Clint Breaks His Pride, a Coffee Table, & Possibly His Foot

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a while since I wrote for Marvel, but Endgame fucked me up, so here we are.
> 
> I’ve written approximately 100 chat fics since I first started writing, but I’ve never published one. I’m a little nervous ? Hopefully it’s enjoyable.
> 
> There will be five “sections” or conversations per chapter, so chapter lengths will vary - probably very drastically in some cases if a conversation runs away from me.
> 
> I’m posting this on my phone so please forgive any wonky formatting - I’m doing my best.
> 
> Character Key:  
> Steve: americas ass  
> Tony: genius boy  
> Natasha: wine aunt  
> Thor: prince thot  
> Bruce: sexy SCIENCE  
> Bucky: winter money  
> Sam: flyboy

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas_ _ass_ , _aw_ _life_ _no_ , _genius_ _boy_ , _prince_ _thot_ , _sexy_ _SCIENCE_ , _wine_ _aunt_

wine aunt: Who wants to tell me why I just heard Coulson yell I HATE THIS DORM out his window?

aw life no: it was tony

genius boy: Wtf barton

genius boy: U absolute hoe of a snitch

wine aunt: Tony.

wine aunt: What did you do?

genius boy: Absolutely nothing i did nothing

sexy SCIENCE: He blew up a microwave.

genius boy: BRUCIE U TRAITOR

americas ass: Tony that’s like the fifth one this month

aw life no: for a genius he’s a real dumbass

genius boy: Dont make me come fite u barton

aw life no: i’d kick your ass

genius boy: Yeah rite

genius boy: Is that u knocking? Ready to lose like the snitch u r

aw life no: that’s not me

genius boy: Wait

genius boy: Oh fucADUIJHSXNJOK

americas ass: Guessing it was Natasha

sexy SCIENCE: RIP Tony Stark he was an okay science bro.

aw life no: D A M N DRAG HIM BRUCE

prince thot: Greetings Friends I’ve Returned!!!!!!

aw life no: from hell?

sexy SCIENCE: How was the family dinner, Thor?

prince thot: Hela And Loki Took Turns Taking Jabs At Father And The Steak Was Overdone But Other Than That It Was A Wonderful Family Dinner!!!!!

genius boy: Muscles i love u but the way u text gives me a headache

aw life no: tony you’re alive!

genius boy: Barely

wine aunt: For now.

americas ass: ‘For now’?

wine aunt: Yes.

prince thot: What Is Wrong With The Way I Text Tony ???

sexy SCIENCE: Nothing, Thor, don’t listen to Tony.

americas ass: He blows up ten microwaves a month, his advice is shit

genius boy: I feel ATTACKED

wine aunt: Good.

genius boy: TASHA CMON

wine aunt: Don’t “Tasha cmon” me, sometimes you are a worse mess than Clint.

wine aunt: And he’s a certified walking human disaster.

aw life no: i feel like i should be offended

aw life no: but when you’re right you’re right

* * *

 

 **Chat:** _awesomesauce_

 **Members:** _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt_

aw life no: i’m gay

sexy SCIENCE: Bucky sighting?

aw life no: what

aw life no: no

aw life no: i don’t know what you’re talking about

americas ass: Last time we were studying for art history at my place, you kept staring at his ass

aw life no: was not

wine aunt: Was too.

aw life no: you weren’t even there!

wine aunt: Didn’t need to be.

genius boy: Its a good ass

genius boy: No finest in america steve ass

genius boy: But a good ass nonetheless

americas ass: Tony stop

wine aunt: Steve, your handle is LITERALLY “americas ass”.

americas ass: Sam picked it

genius boy: Wilson knows wats up

prince thot: I Thought We Were Speaking Of Clint’s Crush On Bucky Why Are We Speaking Of Steve’s Ass

genius boy: Cause its the best ass

americas ass: Tony, oh my god

aw life no: thor why can’t you just let me live for one day

sexy SCIENCE: Tea-spiller Thor returns.

wine aunt: I trained him well.

prince thot: I Often Wonder Steve Why You Haven’t Added Bucky To The Chat

aw life no: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT THOR

genius boy: OMG STEVE DO IT PLS

wine aunt: If he doesn’t, I will.

aw life no: asgjkhdtjkjg I FEEL BETRAYED

americas ass: I guess I could ask him if he wants to be added

sexy SCIENCE: Do it.

aw life no: bruce you too asgjkj i’m gonna go yeet myself off the roof brb

genius boy: Dont ask just do it

prince thot: JUST. DO. IT!!!!!

wine aunt: Someone remind me to kill Loki for teaching Thor about memes.

sexy SCIENCE: Adding a reminder to the group calendar.

* * *

 **Chat** : _hoemies_

 **Members** : _americas ass, flyboy, winter money_

americas ass: Hey Buck, I’ve been sent to ask if you wanted to be added to the awesomesauce chat

flyboy: wtf where is my invitation

winter money: sorry sam, they only invite cool people.

flyboy: next time i go to the store im not buying you red velvet oreos

winter money: i’ll buy my own, bitch.

winter money: and sure, stevie.

winter money: clint’s in that chat right?

flyboy: WOWOWOWOW SUBTLE MUCH BARNES

winter money: i will fucking punch you in the face, feathers.

flyboy: TRY ME

americas ass: Please don’t get blood on the carpet, guys

americas ass: And yes, Buck, Clint’s in the chat

winter money: kay so you can add me...

americas ass: Only if you promise to finally make a move

winter money: i’ll think about it.

americas ass: I thought your middle name was Buchanan, not Coward

flyboy: CALLED THE FUCK O U T

winter money: THAT’S IT

americas ass: ...I’m not cleaning up the blood this time

* * *

 **Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt_

americas ass: Clint

americas ass: This is your five minute warning

americas ass: I’m adding Bucky

aw life no: w a i t WHAT STEVE PLS AHONDFJH

**americas ass has added winter money to the chat**

genius boy: *insert loud cackling here*

wine aunt: Why a five minute warning if you were just going to add him straight away?

americas ass: He and Sam are wrestling around on the carpet so he’s busy

americas ass: For now.

aw life no: guess i’ll just die

prince thot: Clint, Don’t Die! I Will Miss You If You Perish

aw life no: o k a y how are you so adorable for a 6’4 broad mountain man

sexy SCIENCE: An unsolved mystery of the world, truly.

genius boy: It’s the puppy dog eyes & boundless enthusiasm, gets u evry time

wine aunt: You’d know about being helpless to puppy dog eyes.

genius boy: SHUT UP NAT

americas ass: I feel like I’m missing something ?

aw life no: you are

prince thot: You Are

sexy SCIENCE: You are.

wine aunt: You are.

winter money: you are.

aw life no: aguhddcseb

genius boy: BARNES

sexy SCIENCE: Welcome to hell.

wine aunt: James.

winter money: Natalia.

prince thot: Brb My Friends, Clint Just Walked Into A Doorjamb

americas ass: Oh my god

winter money: ...

winter money: is he okay?

aw life no: nothings broken except my pride

sexy SCIENCE: What pride?

genius boy: ^^^^

* * *

**wine aunt — > aw life no**

wine aunt: Did you just walk into a doorjamb because of Bucky being in the chat?

aw life no: pffft no

wine aunt: Clint.

aw life no: I CANT TALK TO HIM TASH HE TURNS ME INTO GOO

wine aunt: You’re such a disaster.

wine aunt: I’m like ninety-seven percent sure he likes you back, Clint.

aw life no: AJSHFJEOFJFJFJ

wine aunt: Clint?

wine aunt: Please tell me that loud crashing wasn’t you.

aw life no: i broke the coffee table

aw life no: and possibly my ankle

wine aunt: Oh, for fuck’s sake.

_**~tbc** _


	2. Clint Goes to the Hospital, Nat Goes Drinking, and Bucky is in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hospital visit, a glittery construction paper sign, a ladies’ night out, and everyone being done with everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn’t expect chap 2 to go up until tomorrow, but the plot bunnies are breeding like crazy. 
> 
> There are some new characters here. I realize I forgot to add Clint’s u/n to the key last chapter, but it was like fiveish in the morning and I had pulled an all-nighter.
> 
> Carol: damnvers  
> Pepper: rescue me  
> Maria: overthehill  
> Valkyrie: beer aunt

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

americas ass: What was that crashing sound?

americas ass: Tony?

genius boy: IT WASNT ME

sexy SCIENCE: It’s always you.

sexy SCIENCE: Or Clint.

sexy SCIENCE: ...where’s Clint?

prince thot: Do Not Worry Friends! I Am Driving Clint To The Emergency Room!

winter money: WHAT

wine aunt: He broke a coffee table and possibly his ankle.

winter money: arhuSTHJFT

americas ass: Bucky straight up just threw himself out of the dorm.

genius boy: *queer up

sexy SCIENCE: I stuck my head out the door and watched him jump over a railing to skip a set of stairs.

genius boy: We stan a parkour legend my dudes

wine aunt: Dumbasses, the both of them.

sexy SCIENCE: This entire chat is filled with dumbasses.

americas ass: Well, you’re not wrong.

genius boy: TRIGGERED

genius boy: Ive been published in sixteen science journals im not a dumbass !

wine aunt: The two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

* * *

 **Chat** : _give us strength_

 **Members** : _beer aunt, d_ _amnvers, overthehill, rescue me, wine aunt_

wine aunt: The guys are idiots.

rescue me: Tell us something we don’t know

rescue me: I am TIRED of Tony blowing up everything in his general vicinity 20 times a month

overthehill: what happened now natasha?

wine aunt: Clint.

damnvers: oooooh what bone did he break this time

rescue me: It’s sad that’s a question we frequently have to ask

wine aunt: I’m TIRED of talking about it, can we go out drinking?

beer aunt: DID SOMEONE SAY DRINKING

rescue me: Why do you only stop lurking when we mention alcohol, Val

beer aunt: BECAUSE ALCOHOL, PEP

overthehill: yes ladies’ night i’m in.

damnvers: LETS GET TURNT

rescue me: Do NOT ever say that again

damnvers: i nvr make promises i cant keep

wine aunt: Meet outside in thirty, ladies.

beer aunt: ILL B READY IN TEN

* * *

 **Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

prince thot: An Update - We Have Arrived At The Emergency Room

prince thot: Clint Was Escorted To A Bed That Had A Glittery Construction Paper Sign Of His Name Over It

prince thot: Oh, Bucky Has Also Arrived

sexy SCIENCE: Wait, Clint has a bed reserved for him in the emergency room?

americas ass: I’m not even that surprised

wine aunt: It’s Clint we’re talking about.

wine aunt: Also I’m out with the girls, don’t bother me unless someone’s actually dying.

genius boy: Always a possibility w/ us tasha

wine aunt: I’m well aware.

aw life no: i will do my best not to die until the weekend, nat

wine aunt: I’ll take it.

americas ass: Clint! How’s the foot

aw life no: it’s my lucky day

aw life no: just severely sprained, they’re giving me crutches

winter money: “it’s my lucky day” he says like he didn’t walk into the emergency room doors on the way in.

genius boy: Emergency room doors r automatic

genius boy: How tf did u manage that

aw life no: it’s a gift

americas ass: Sounds more like a curse

aw life no: tomato tomato

sexy SCIENCE: ...

americas ass: ...

prince thot: ...

genius boy: ...

winter money: you’re lucky you’re so cute.

aw life no: SHKJDFUKKCSYKBVSXVJ

prince thot: Another Update - Clint Has Fallen Off The Hospital Bed

aw life no: SHUT UP, THOR

* * *

**winter money — > americas ass**

winter money: steve.

americas ass: I know, Bucky

winter money: he’s so cute

americas ass: That’s one word for it

winter money: steve?

americas ass: Yes Bucky?

winter money: i love him.

americas ass: I know you do, Bucky

* * *

 **Chat** : _bucky & clint are morons_

 **Members** : _americas ass, flyboy, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt_

prince thot: [Photo Attachment]

prince thot: [Photo Attachment]

sexy SCIENCE: I thought they gave him crutches, why is Bucky carrying Clint?

genius boy: Shhhhhhhh Brucie bear, let us enjoy this wholesome Bucky/Clint content in peace

prince thot: Clint Nearly Fell Trying To Step Off The Curb With His Crutches

prince thot: And So Bucky Is Now Carrying Him To The Car So He Doesn’t Hurt Himself More

americas ass: They’re so oblivious it hurts

flyboy: theyre not the only ones

americas ass: What? Does that mean ???

sexy SCIENCE: You’ll understand when you’re older, Steve.

genius boy: I hate u Brucie

sexy SCIENCE: Love you too, Tony.

americas ass: ...still confused

flyboy: donut worry about it

_**~tbc** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Now, some references to help you keep track.
> 
> The Group Chats:  
> awesomesauce - Steve, Clint, Tony, Thor, Bruce, Nat, Bucky  
> hoemies - Steve, Sam, Bucky  
> give us strength - Valkyrie, Carol, Maria, Pepper, Nat  
> bucky & clint are morons - Steve, Sam, Tony, Thor, Bruce, Nat
> 
> Current Relevant Dorm Situations:  
> Bruce & Tony  
> Clint & Thor  
> Bucky, Sam, & Steve  
> Carol, Nat, & Valkyrie
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul. Please help the ravenous plot bunnies by keeping my battery charged. Thank you all so much, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you once I’m done writing #4.


	3. Natasha has a Girlfriend, Tony Breaks Bucky, and Clint Yeets Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat is a whole ass lesbian, Clint and Bucky Will Fight You, and Tony has a minion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three! Here we are. Thanks for all the kudos you guys have left so far, I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic.
> 
> This chapter only has four sections...I couldn’t think of a fifth that fit. There’s also about a week’s timeskip so Clint’s all healed (for now).
> 
> No new characters: there is a new relationship in this chapter, I’ll add the tags for it when the other characters become aware (next chapter). 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

wine aunt: Oh, just so you all know.

wine aunt: This bad bitch got herself a girlfriend.

aw life no: WHAT WHO

genius boy: WHAT THE DUMBASS SAID

sexy SCIENCE: You also fall into that category Tony.

genius boy: Bruuuuccciiiieee y

winter money: it’s true

genius boy: No one asked u grunge raccoon!

americas ass: Congratulations, Nat. I’m thrilled for you

wine aunt: Thank you, Steve. At least someone around here has manners.

prince thot: Natasha!!! Today Is A Blessed Day Now That You Have Given Us This News!

wine aunt: Thank you, Thor.

aw life no: ok but who is it we’re dying to know

wine aunt: Hmmmm...

genius boy: ill buy u new shoes.

americas ass: Tony, don’t bribe her! She’ll tell us if she wants to

winter money: yeah, don’t be an ass, stark.

genius boy: Barton sorry im gonna have to fight ur boyfriend

aw life no: ashkdADRHVF T O N Y

sexy SCIENCE: Oh, shit.

winter money: ...boyfriend?

aw life no: STARK YOU’RE DEAD

**aw life no has left the chat**

winter money: boyfriend.

prince thot: Oh No Is Bucky Broken?

genius boy: Theyll get over it-HOLY FUCK BARTON NO DONTAQARJKFEaagh

sexy SCIENCE: So Clint just kicked down our dorm door and is kicking Tony’s ass.

wine aunt: Children, all of you.

winter money: b o y f r i e n d

americas ass: Yes, Bucky, I told you he liked you back

winter money: brb i have to go. immediately.

wine aunt: Same, I have a date.

prince thot: Have Fun Natasha!

sexy SCIENCE: Enjoy your date.

wine aunt: Thanks.

americas ass: Wait

americas ass: She still didn’t tell us who it was

prince thot: Well Fuck.

sexy SCIENCE: Did you just swear?

prince thot: Maybe

americas ass: Loki really is a terrible influence

prince thot: Maybe So

prince thot: Maybe So

sexy SCIENCE: *siiiiigh*

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

 **americas ass has added aw life no to the chat**  

prince thot: Welcome Back Roomie!

aw life no: uh thanks i guess?

americas ass: Is Tony still alive

aw life no: :)

sexy SCIENCE: Relatively speaking.

genius boy: He smothered me w/ a pillow

aw life no: you deserved it

winter money: that’s hot.

aw life no: o-oh

americas ass: This is painful to watch

aw life no: S H U T U P S T E V E

aw life no: YOU’RE PAINFUL TO WATCH

americas ass: ????

aw life no: you can’t be this oblivious

winter money: unfortunately, he is.

americas ass: I feel like I should be offended

sexy SCIENCE: Let me solve this fight for you.

sexy SCIENCE: You’re all oblivious idiots.

prince thot: I Agree With Bruce

genius boy: r u d e

sexy SCIENCE: That includes you too, Thor.

aw life no: OH SNAP

winter money: oh, my god.

prince thot: I Am Hurt

genius boy: Welcome to the club

* * *

**wine aunt — > rescue me**

wine aunt: Are you ready?

rescue me: I’m digging my shoes from under Maria’s boots

rescue me: I’ll be down in a second

wine aunt: I’m really happy we’re doing this.

rescue me: It took us a while but we got here

rescue me: Shoes found!

wine aunt: Prepare yourself to be wined and dined.

wine aunt: Or the broke student lesbian version of it.

rescue me: Which is?

wine aunt: Half-off matinee theater tickets and a reservation at The Playground for dinner.

rescue me: I’ll take it

rescue you: A homey date with you is better than an expensive date with an asshole

wine aunt: Pepper...

wine aunt: Hurry down so I can kiss you.

rescue me: I’M SPRINTING

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

aw life no: can anyone else hear that or is it just me?

prince thot: I, Too, Hear It

winter money: what is it?

sexy SCIENCE: Coulson is yelling at a freshman; they got superglue all over the communal kitchen.

americas ass: They did what

genius boy: Wasnt me this time my bros

sexy SCIENCE: No, but it was your little minion, so Coulson’s going to be blaming you anyway.

genius boy: OH CMON

prince thot: Tony Has A Minion?

americas ass: You mean Peter Parker ?

sexy SCIENCE: Yeah, him.

aw life no: okay but now i’m curious...how did he get superglue everywhere though

wine aunt: No prank wars, Clint.

genius boy: EVRY DAMN TIME HOW DO U DO IT

wine aunt: I just know things, Tony.

wine aunt: Clint, you should go answer your door.

aw life no: i should what now

wine aunt: I’m waiting.

prince thot: If Clint Does Not Answer The Door I Shall!

aw life no: i’m going i’m-

aw life no: TASHA

prince thot: It Is Natasha Herself! Farewell Friends, I Believe We Are About To Have A Gossip Session

genius boy: Im JELLY

sexy SCIENCE: Never say that again.

winter money: gossiping at eleven at night?

aw life no: all the best gossip sessions happen when it’s dark out

winter money: ...

americas ass: Someone’s jealous

americas ass: I shouldn’t have said that FUCK-

genius boy: ...

genius boy: Wanna change into r pjs & talk science brucie

sexy SCIENCE: Only if there’s chocolate popcorn.

genius boy: Two steps ahead of u

sexy SCIENCE: Meet you in the living room.

_**~tbc** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to start posting every two or three days; I’ll see you then!
> 
> Dorms:  
> Pepper & Maria
> 
> Comments and kudos feed my soul. Please help me keep the savage plot bunnies properly feed!


	4. Pepper is a Savage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milkshakes, midterms, dates, and Captain Hot Ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaannnd we’re back! Thanks for all the hits & kudos, plus those treasured comments. This fic wouldn’t be the same without all of your support.
> 
> I’ll be updating the tags shortly after posting this, so don’t mind that.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genous boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

sexy SCIENCE: Nat, did I just see you kissing Pepper outside the economics building?

genius boy: EXCUSE ME?

wine aunt: Oh, I don’t know.

**wine aunt has added rescue me to the chat**

wine aunt: Pep, did Bruce see us kissing outside the economics building?

rescue me: Probably, yeah

genius boy: WHAT THE F U C K

aw life no: aaawwww yiss get it nat

americas ass: You and Pepper are dating ?

americas ass: Did not see that coming

genius boy: PEPPER

genius boy: WHAT THE FUCK

genius boy: Y DID U NOT TELL ME

winter money: might have something to do with you being the worst gossip on campus.

prince thot: Bucky Speaks The Truth

genius boy: I AM OFFENDED

rescue me: What’s new?

aw life no: oh S N A P

sexy SCIENCE: She’s not wrong.

americas ass: Last Thursday you threw a fit because your engineering professor go your name wrong

genius boy: ITS HALFWAY THRU THE SEMESTER

genius boy: IM FAMOUS

aw life no: *infamous

winter money: nice.

rescue me: That’s the nice way of putting it.

genius boy: Screw all of u im off to get milkshakes

genius boy: Ur not invited

americas ass: And now you’re acting like a child

prince thot: Maybe You Should Spank Him

americas ass: THOR WHAT THE HELL

aw life no: OH SHIT

winter money: OH SHIT.

wine aunt: Legend Thor Odinson, everyone.

rescue me: This is the third best day of my life

* * *

**genius boy — > americas ass**

genius boy: I wouldnt b opposed

americas ass: Tony ?

genius boy: To u spanking me

americas ass: Oh, my GOD

genius boy: So is that a no...

americas ass: Can I come get a milkshake with you, Tony

genius boy: Always Captain Hot Ass

americas ass: Like a date ?

genius boy: ALWAYS CAPTAIN HOT ASS

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

aw life no: fuck yo chicken strips

sexy SCIENCE: Clint, no.

aw life no: FUCK YO CHICKEN STRIPS

wine aunt: Clint, Vine is gone. Let it go.

aw life no: IT LIVES ON IN MY MEMORIES FOREVER HOES

genius boy: Cant believe we’re friends w/ this trainwreck

rescue me: You’re worse.

winter money: dAMN.

prince thot: She Went There

rescue me: Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you.

genius boy: Ur supposed to b my bff pep

rescue me: Thought that was Rhodey.

genius boy: *one of my bffs

aw life no: watching pepper be savage to tony is my new favorite thing

winter money: agreed

americas ass: ...Same

sexy SCIENCE: Savage Pepper is the best Pepper.

wine aunt: I mean, I’m dating her for a reason.

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

sexy SCIENCE: How’s everyone holding up with midterms?

aw life no: about to yeet myself off a roof

winter money: agreed.

winter money: i’ve never taken so many photos in my life

wine aunt: Showcases can suck my ass.

americas ass: I’ve broken like twenty pencils

prince thot: Words Are Meaningless

rescue me: Fuck the numbers.

genius boy: I havent slept in three days

sexy SCIENCE: Sounds about right.

* * *

**winter money — > aw life no**

winter money: clint.

winter money: when’s your lecture over?

aw life no: dhijdsyjjg

aw life no: fifteen minutes

winter money: okay.

winter money: you want to go grab lunch?

winter money: ...clint?

aw life no: YES I WOULD LIKE THAT V MUCH THANK YOU

winter money: pizza?

aw life no: yes pizza

winter money: okay. i’ll be waiting outside.

winter money: see you soon.

aw life no: asjkfdl

_** ~tbc ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note that the next chapter will be up either on Friday or Sunday depending on how well the muses feel like cooperating.
> 
> Important Notes:  
> Pepper has been added to the ‘awesomesauce’ chat
> 
> As always, comments and kudos feed my soul! The plot bunnies are ever hungry: they demand sustenace!


	5. Clint is Dumb and Tony is Also Dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sock races, another hospital trip, cookies, and Nat and Pepper being 594379% done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said Sunday! It’s still Sunday here!
> 
> This weekend has been crazy but I managed to make time for a new chapter. Enjoy, everyone.

**wine aunt — > aw life no** 

wine aunt: Did you and Bucky go on a date yesterday and you did NOT TELL ME?

aw life no: i mean

aw life no: it wasn’t a date

wine aunt: Clint Barton.

aw life no: it was just lunch between our classes!

wine aunt: I want to punch you in the face.

aw life no: sometimes it be like that

* * *

 **Chat** : _give us strength_

 **Members** : _beer aunt, damnvers, overthehill, rescue me, wine aunt_

overthehill: Are Clint, Tony, and a bunch of freshmen really having a sock sliding contest

damnvers: brb gotta go fastttt

rescue me: Sometimes I wonder if she’s really our age.

wine aunt: Mentally? Probably not.

damnvers: still in this chat ladies

overthehill: Coulson’s gonna have a coronary

rescue me: I mean...

rescue me: Coulson always has a coronary.

damnvers: SHE SAID IT NOT ME

wine aunt: That’s my girlfriend.

wine aunt: I love it when you’re savage.

overthehill: Pepper’s always savage

wine aunt: My point remains.

rescue me: Love you too

beer aunt: hate to break up this love fest but the bifrost is having a three for one beers night who wants to come with me

rescue me: Would honestly prefer to join in on the sock sliding

wine aunt: Me too.

overthehill: Guess that just leaves me...

overthehill: Yeah, I’m gonna study

beer aunt: laaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmeeee

* * *

 **Chat** : _awesomesauce_

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

genius boy: Clint dumbass barton re-sprained his ankle ladies & gents

genius boy: Took him back to the hospital

genius boy: Hes in the bed with the construction sign its a thing of beauty

aw life no: you’re a dumbass

americas ass: Clint, really ?

aw life no: yolo

winter money: stark’s right, you are a dumbass.

winter money: i’ll meet you guys there.

wine aunt: *eyebrows raise inquisitively*

aw life no: don’t make me fight you tasha

rescue me: I mean, you’d lose

prince thot: Pepper Is Correct Even I Cannot Fight Natasha And Win

aw life no: don’t underestimate my scrappiness

sexy SCIENCE: What scrappiness?

rescue me: DAMN

genius boy: Thats my science bro!!!!

americas ass: That statement had nothing to do with science

genius boy: Dont make me punch u steve

rescue me: On his mouth with your mouth?

wine aunt: Gods, I love you.

genius boy: Maybe

sexy SCIENCE: Oh shit.

aw life no: IT’S HAPPENING EVERYONE I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THE DAY

americas ass: Clint, be quiet and let the doctors patch you up

wine aunt: ‘Quiet’ isn’t in his vocabulary.

aw life no: Rude, every single one of you.

* * *

**aw life no — > wine aunt**

aw life no: he brought me cookies

wine aunt: I’m going to need some context here.

aw life no: BUCKY

aw life no: HE DROVE ME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL LAST NIGHT

aw life no: AND BROUGHT ME PEANUT BUTTER CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES TODAY

aw life no: THAT HE BAKED HIMSELF

wine aunt: Sometimes you’re really such a useless queer.

aw life no: I KNOW

aw life no: HELP

wine aunt: I think at this point, you’re beyond help.

* * *

 **Chat** : _an idiot & his bffs_

 **Members** : _genius boy, rescue me, rhodey bear_

genius boy: Loves of my life

rhodey bear: But we’re not Steve?

rescue me: Just let him spew his gibberish

genius boy: Pep can u pls stop being savage for like two mins

rescue me: I mean, I’ll try

genius boy: Thx

genius boy: Ok i have a problem

rhodey bear: Let me guess

rhodey bear: Steve?

genius boy: WE WENT ON A DATE

rescue me: Finally

genius boy: & THEN WE MADE OUT

genius boy: & HE PANICKED & IS BEING AWKWARD

rescue me: This is why I don’t date boys.

_**~tbc** _

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Support on this fic has been crazy. Thank you to everyone who’s supporting ‘a is for awesomesauce’
> 
> Rhodey - rhodey bear  
> an idiots & his bffs - Tony, Pepper, Rhodey


	6. Clint & Nat Love Cereal and Bruce Joins The Savage Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans at Costco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your girl IS BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER. This chapter’s shenanigans are brought to you by the fact that I go to Costco w/ my parents like every other week.
> 
> This chapter was a BLAST to write, I was practically cackling the entire time I wrote it. Savor this, because there’s a heavy sort of feel to chapter seven...
> 
> Enjoy!

**~~~~Chat** : _awesomesauce_

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

aw life no: thor & i are going to costco! tagalongs welcome

genius boy: Not to sound snobby

genius boy: But i’ll pass

rescue me: Tony I say this with love and affection

rescue me: You are 100% a complete snob about where you buy things from

winter money: she’s not wrong.

genius boy: No one asked u grunge raccoon

americas ass: Clint, I’ll come. We can take my truck

aw life no: steve is the only friend ever

winter money: i’ll come too.

wine aunt: I’m always up for a Costco adventure.

rescue me: If Nat’s going, I’m going

sexy SCIENCE: Count me in.

genius boy: ...Well now i dont want to b the odd one out

prince thot: Excellent! Let Us Embark On Our Shopping Adventure My Friends!

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

sexy SCIENCE: Wait, Clint, Nat, Bucky? Where did you guys go?

aw life no: the adult playground

winter money: alcohol. we’re in the alcohol section.

americas ass: Somehow I’m not surprised

rescue me: Don’t expect Tony to answer his phone, he’s fascinated with the dairy section

sexy SCIENCE: ...

wine aunt: ...

americas ass: ...Why the dairy section ?

rescue me: It’s Tony

rescue me: He’s an enigma

prince thot: Friends! I’m Filling A Cart With Frozen Pizza! How Much Do You Think We Can Fit In The Dorm Freezers?

aw life no: PIZZA

aw life no: ALL OF IT

wine aunt: Six. No more than six.

rescue me: Clint, do you bleed marinara sauce?

aw life no: that would be the dream

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

rescue me: Not to alarm anyone but I’ve lost Tony

sexy SCIENCE: Finally, it only took us two years.

winter money: ...surprised stevie’s not taking offense to that

prince thot: I, Too, Have Lost Steve

aw life no: we’re terrible friends

wine aunt: Oh, absolutely.

wine aunt: Want to go check the cereal aisle to see if we can find them?

aw life no: AW YISSS LESS GO

rescue me: Thor, meet me by the hygiene section

prince thot: On My Way Pepper!

sexy SCIENCE: Good call, you know how Tony is about hand sanitizer.

winter money: i’ll check the pet section.

rescue me: The pet section?

winter money: steve wants a dog when we can move into the senior apartments

aw life no: DOG?

wine aunt: Clint. Focus.

aw life no: we’ll return to this subject later

winter money: anything for you, sweetheart.

* * *

**Chat** : _i found steve & tony_

**Members** : _aw life no, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

wine aunt: So they’re making out in the furniture section.

sexy SCIENCE: They are not.

aw life no: THEY FUCKING ARE

winter money: let’s ignore them and see if they can separate and come find us before we check out and leave.

rescue me: That’s evil

rescue me: I love it. Let’s do it.

prince thot: But We Need Steve’s Keys

winter money: i’ve had a copy since he first bought them when we were sixteen.

wine aunt: Okay divide and conquer - Clint grab the M&M’s, Pepper the pasta sauce, Bucky the pasta, Thor ice cream, Bruce toothpaste, and I’ll go snag a spot in check out

aw life no: LETS DO THIS

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

americas ass: I can’t believe you guys left us at Costco

wine aunt: You looked busy.

winter money: we didn’t want to interrupt.

genius boy: Jokes on u we made out in the cab on the way home too

genius boy: & i bought the expensive booze

genius boy: None of u get any

rescue me: We weren’t the ones who ditched their friends to make out in the furniture section of Costco though, so

rescue me: We’re the real winners here

sexy SCIENCE: I’m posting about this on Twitter.

genius boy: DONT TALK TO ME SCIENCE TRAITOR

sexy SCIENCE: What’s that, Tony? Lock you out of the dorm tomorrow night? Okay.

aw life no: D A M N

rescue me: Bruce, welcome to the Savage Society.

wine aunt: Please actually lock him out though.

sexy SCIENCE: When he least expects it? Of course

winter money: today was the best.

_**~tbc** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos feed the rapid plot bunnies that run rampant in my mind. All the love and support you guys have given this fic makes me so happy.
> 
> See you guys on chapter seven!


	7. Wanda Wants Respect, Thor is Heartbroken, and Bruce Messages the Wrong Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freshmen, heartbreak, and the numbers crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy, what’s up everyone! Apparently my crippling social anxiety is worth something, as it inspired and made me write chapter eight in a couple of hours, so you get this chapter extra early!
> 
> We’ve got new characters in this chap. Thanks to my bff/partner in crime for being my sounding board for this fic.
> 
> I call this chapter “the setup chapter”. There’s a lot of building blocks for future stuff here...especially a certain pairing, which will be made abundantly clear here.
> 
> Don’t expect it for a whilr, but I felt I needed to tag it.
> 
> New Chars:  
> MJ: the mj  
> Ned: star wars nerd  
> Peter: spidertrash  
> Pietro: PIEtro  
> Shuri: actual princess  
> Wanda: maximON

**Chat** : _FRESH FRUIT_

 **Members** : _actual princess, maximON, PIEtro, spidertrash, star wars nerd, the mj_

maximON: EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT ALL LADIES AND DUDES REPORT TO THE GC!

PIEtro: ‘dudes’ rly wanda?

PIEtro: also 10 bucks says this is an emergency like it was an ‘emergency’ when you didnt have the right shade of red paint

maximON: Can you respect me for once in our lives, Pietro?

PIEtro: im 12 mins older & u dont respect ME

spidertrash: ...guys?

actual princess: Shhhh Petey I wanna see where this goes

the mj: dont interrupt the entertainment parker

star wars nerd: But im curious about the emergency ?

maximON: OK YOU’RE ALL HERE GOOD

PIEtro: & now shes going 2 ignore me

maximON: So I was at the campus store buying new colored pencils.

spidertrash: don’t you have like 100 already

the mj: she does

star wars nerd: probably not the ‘right shade’

PIEtro: ^^^^^

maximON: GUYS PLEASE LET ME TELL YOU I MET A HOT GIRL

the mj: oshit

actual princess: OH MY GOD WANDA BROUGHT ACTUAL TEA

spidertrash: spill that hot leaf juice

star wars nerd: peter i platonically love you the most out of all the creatures in this world but. no. absolutely not.

maximON: I have a date bitches!

PIEtro: how do u have a date & not me?

maximON: I’m prettier

PIEtro: u WISH

actual princess: google - how to delete myself from this conversation

the mj: like this

**the mj has left the chat**

star wars nerd: never say mj doesn’t know how to make a dramatic exit

spidertrash: i’ll add her back in a couple of hours

* * *

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_  

rescue me: What is that noise?

aw life no: that would be thor

aw life no: bawling

aw life no: being dramatic

aw life no: throwing plastic beer mugs

americas ass: Is everything alright ?

prince thot: NAY

prince thot: My Heart Has Been Broken

prince thot: I May Never Recover

winter money: what happened?

aw life no: ...jane broke up with him

sexy SCIENCE: Good riddance.

genius boy: Brucie wrong chat

sexy SCIENCE: ...Fuck.

**sexy SCIENCE has left the chat**

prince thot: What? What Did He Mean?

wine aunt: Thor, we love you.

wine aunt: And we always want to support you, but...

americas ass: She kind of puts down all of Tony and Bruce’s work in the science club

rescue me: And tells everyone they look down on her for pursuing a ‘soft’ science

prince thot: Oh I Didn’t Know

aw life no: no one blames you, thor

prince thot: I Wish You Had All Told Me Though

genius boy: We shouldve, but u were so happy w/ her...

prince thot: Well Not Any More

* * *

**Chat** : _numbers crew_

 **Members** : _genius boy, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE_

rescue me: Bruce?

sexy SCIENCE: I’m an idiot.

genius boy: We were gonna hafta tell him sooner or later

rescue me: I can’t believe you use ‘hafta’

genius boy: Not now Pep

rescue me: Tony is right though, Bruce

sexy SCIENCE: I know, I just...

genius boy: She was hardest on u.

rescue me: Jealousy is an ugly monster

rescue me: Especially when someone’s already ugly on the inside

genius boy: & the outside.

sexy SCIENCE: Tony, OH MY GOD.

genius boy: IM JUST SPEAKING THE TRUTH

genius boy: Ur much prettier Brucie bear.

sexy SCIENCE: Fuck Thor is messaging me.

rescue me: Good luck! You’ve got this.

genius boy: LOVE U BRUCIE

sexy SCIENCE: Be right back.

* * *

**prince thot — > sexy SCIENCE**

prince thot: Bruce?

sexy SCIENCE: I’m sorry Thor, I didn’t mean for you to find out like this...

prince thot: Don’t Apologize

prince thot: I Wish You Never Felt Like You Had To Hide Her Behavior From Me

sexy SCIENCE: She made you happy...I knew she wasn’t all bad...

prince thot: You Have The Kindest Heart Of Anyone, Bruce

prince thot: I Admire You For It

sexy SCIENCE: O-oh...well, you have the biggest heart ever.

sexy SCIENCE: I know it feels like a weakness right now, but it’s a strength.

sexy SCIENCE: You’ll emerge stronger on the other side of this.

prince thot: Thank You, Bruce

sexy SCIENCE: Anytime, Thor.

* * *

**Chat** : _numbers crew_

 **Members** : _genius boy, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE_

sexy SCIENCE: I have the biggest heart boner right now.

genius boy: AAAAAAYYY THATS MY BOY GEDDIT BRUCIE BEARRRRRRR

rescue me: Sometimes I hate you two so much.

genius boy: Dont lie u love us Pep

sexy SCIENCE: Let’s go hug ambush her.

genius boy: IM RUNNING

rescue me: ...

rescue me: I brought this on myself.

_**~tbc** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always...comments and kudos feed the rabid plot bunnies. You, my wonderful readers, keep this story afloat.
> 
> *READ THIS NOTE BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME ABOUT JANE*  
> I love Jane. I have nothing against her character, and I was sad when Natalie left the MCU. That being said, Jane was the perfect character to kickstart what (I hope) will be a long character arc for Thor, by stomping on his feelings. I’ve got more in mind for Jane: something I hope will, quite possibly, end with her becoming the fantastic person she truly is. However if you can’t deal with Jane’s current attitude until we reach there, perhaps this isn’t the fic for you.
> 
> See you all next chapter.


	8. Steve Has Anxiety, Clint Has Siblings, and Loki Has Arrived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crippling social anxiety, usage of the word ‘babe’, foster family, homesickness, star wars, #artbaes, and a door that could change everything (but not really).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’M BACK! I’ll leave my explanation in the end notes.
> 
> I don’t have much to say...This chapter is dedicated to a). my social anxiety which spurred the beginning, and b). my bff, who’s favorite character/marvel husband has finally arrived.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chat** : _awesomesauce_

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

americas ass: Someone kill me

americas ass: Literally right now

genius boy: Babe wats wrong

aw life no: b a b e

wine aunt: Clint.

aw life no: sorry steve, what’s wrong

americas ass: Crippling social anxiety

winter money: aaayy me too.

sexy SCIENCE: What happened?

americas ass: So you all know I’ve been looking for a new job

rescue me: Because Jasper Sitwell is a shitty person and a shittier manager?

americas ass: Yeah, so I applied to that one art store I really love, and they sent me an email asking me to call for a phone interview

americas ass: So now I’m probably going to have to do a phone interview and an in-person interview and I literally feel like throwing up

genius boy: On my way with blankets and cuddles

wine aunt: Aw, Steve. When do you have to call them?

americas ass: In half an hour.

prince thot: We Should Go Out For Dinner Afterwards To Take Your Mind Off It!

aw life no: ooh great idea

aw life no: steve?

americas ass: Sounds good

americas ass: Thank you guys

sexy SCIENCE: Any time, Captain.

americas ass: STOP CALLING ME THAT I’M CAPTAIN OF NOTHING

genius boy: Captain of my heart

rescue me: Wow, Tony, that was actually smooth

wine aunt: Ikr.

genius boy: NO ROASTING WHEN ONE OF US IS IN NEED OF COMFORTING

aw life no: well there goes my entire existence

sexy SCIENCE: Same.

* * *

**Chat** : _foster fam_

**Members** : _aw life no, maximON, PIEtro_

aw life no: what’s up my favorite miscreants

maximON: You are the miscreant in this family

PIEtro: WANDA HAS A GIRLFRIEND

maximON: GOD DAMMIT PIETRO

aw life no: w h a t wanda SPILL

PIEtro: she hasnt even told me her name !!

aw life no: FOR SHAME WANDA

maximON: O k a y first of all she’s not my girlfriend, it’s just a date

PIEtro: 4 now

aw life no: for now

maximON: ...

maximON: Secondly...

maximON: It’s Darcy

PIEtro: lewis ? GEDDIT WANDA

maximON: Oh my god Pietro

PIEtro: let me b bi in PEACE

maximON: ...Clint...?

aw life no: yeah

maximON: You’re not saying anything...

aw life no: darcy’s friends with jane foster right?

maximON: They were last year

maximON: I don’t know what happened but they’re not talking anymore

aw life no: oh

aw life no: sorry it’s just

aw life no: jane is really cruel to bruce...and tony, but mostly bruce

aw life no: but darcy isn’t jane so! i’m happy for you wan-wan

maximON: Don’t ever call me that again, Clint.

aw life no: big bro privileges wan-wan

PIEtro: mayb darcy will tell wanda wat happened?

maximON: I won’t ask

maximON: But I’m hoping I can be the kind of person where she’s comfortable enough to tell me, eventually

aw life no: i’m gonna come find you so i can hug you

PIEtro: ME TOO

maximON: Door’s unlocked

* * *

**Chat** : _FRESH FRUIT_

**Members** : _actual princess, maximON , PIEtro, spidertrash, star wars nerd, the mj_

spidertrash: HNNNGH

actual princess: Petey the babiest of boys tell us what’s wrong

the mj: do we need to beat up flash again

PIEtro: putting on my asskicking boots rn!

spidertrash: no no no no no guys just

spidertrash: i ):

maximON: Okay who the fuck made you cry

star wars nerd: Noo petey dont cry

spidertrash: i miss aunt may :((((

actual princess: Peter :(((

spidertrash: i know it’s stupid

maximON: It’s not stupid, Peter, you love her and miss her

maximON: It’s not so easy to travel home to see her, even if you are technically in the same city

star wars nerd: Evryone report to me & peters dorm for an emergency stars wars movie marathon stat

PIEtro: i’ll bring caramel corn

maximON: I’ve got movie snacks

actual princess: bringing extra blankets!

the mj: i’ve got drinks

spidertrash: i love you guys

maximON: We love you more, Peter

* * *

**Chat** : _arts baes_

**Members** : _americas ass, highki, wine aunt, winter money_

**americas ass has added maximON to the chat**

highki: To be honest I forgot this chat existed

winter money: same.

wine aunt: Same.

maximON: Uh, hi?

americas ass: Wanda, meet Loki, Bucky, and Nat.

americas ass: Guys, Wanda’s my partner for the dual final project in sketching.

winter money: hey, i’m one of stevie’s roommates.

wine aunt: I’m a dance major who lives on Steve’s floor.

highki: Hello, freshman.

americas ass: Loki, can you try to be nice for once in your life?

highki: Not really.

winter money: loki is an asshole studying theatre and is thor’s brother

highki: Unfortunately.

maximON: Oh I know Thor

highki: Oh, goodie for you.

americas ass: When are you going to forgive him anyway?

highki: When he apologizes.

winter money: he’s apologized though?

wine aunt: At least fifty times.

highki: When he knows why he should apologize and thus gives me a meaningful apology.

americas ass: Fair enough

maximON: I’m confused?

winter money: you’ll get used to it.

* * *

**aw life no — > wine aunt**

aw life no: nat

wine aunt: Clint.

aw life no: i’m gonna do it

wine aunt: Yet again I must ask for context.

aw life no: bucky

aw life no: i’m going to ask him on a date

wine aunt: Really?

aw life no: yes really

wine aunt: Clint!

aw life no: nat!

wine aunt: GO GET HIM!

aw life no: going!

wine aunt: I can’t believe you’re doing this.

aw life no: i know

aw life no: i feel like i’m going to throw up

wine aunt: You’ll be fine.

wine aunt: For some reason, James adores your disaster ass.

aw life no: awww tash you say the sweetest things

aw life no: OKAY I’M IN FRONT OF HIS DOOR

wine aunt: Good luck.

_**~tbc** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THINGS ARE HAPPENING! Slowly but still happening.
> 
> So...it’s been a week. Ish. Basically, I had a job interview after I last posted, AND GOT HIRED FUCK YEAH. Also, until yesterday, I was in a different state entirely, attending a class (on mindfulness & self compassion) that wore me out every single day, so I had zero energy to try and work on this fic. Forgive me.
> 
> Still don’t know how my hours are going to be set up for my new job, so let’s say I’ll try to post once a week from here on out.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos feed the rabid plot bunnies! Your support has been crazy, and I sincerely hope that it continues <3 <3
> 
> See you next chapter.


	9. Steve Has a Job, Pietro Has a Crush, and Clint, Bucky, & Nat Have a Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News, a job, crackheads, being ridiculous, an ominous conversation (sort of), ice cream, a new crush, and a stupid chat name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: I’m going to start updating once a week  
> also me: *posts a day later*
> 
> Things are moving, happening...I’m posting this really quickly before I have to leave for my first day of work, so I’ll go through and check for edits once I get home!
> 
> Enjoy

**wine aunt — > aw life no** 

wine aunt: Clint, how’d it go?

aw life no: i have a date

wine aunt: You have a date!

aw life no: I HAVE A DATE!

wine aunt: Cliiinnnt I’m so happy FINALLY you two will stop pining.

aw life no: also we may have made out against his front door after he agreed to go on a date with me

wine aunt: I’m so proud.

* * *

 **Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

americas ass: Update I just had in my in-person interview

aw life no: OH SHIT WHAT HAPPENED

americas ass: I...

genius boy: Babe no theyre fools to turn u down

winter money: he got the job. they hired him on the spot.

winter money: he’s in shock.

prince thot: Steve! I Am Thrilled For You!!!

sexy SCIENCE: Steve! We all knew you were going to get it.

genius boy: IM SO HAPPY IM CRYIN STEVE

rescue me: No doubts were had that Steve Grant Rogers, art nerd, was going to get a job at an art store

wine aunt: I mean, yeah. But congratulations anyway Rogers.

americas ass: Guys...thank you...I can’t believe this is happening...

winter money: no more sitwell

aw life no: NO MORE SITWELL

genius boy: CONGRATULATORY BLOWJOB HEADING UR WAY STEVE

wine aunt: Aaannnd we’re back to being crackheads.

aw life no: it’s who we are, tasha

prince thot: Crackheads Assemble!

wine aunt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

* * *

**winter money — > aw life no**

winter money: hey.

aw life no: yoooo

aw life no: uhm

aw life no: hi

winter money: you’re ridiculous.

aw life no: i mean, i try

winter money: i love it.

aw life no: akejrhvnsskkabcbcf BUCKY DONT SAY THAT WTF

winter money: too late.

aw life no: bvcfg PLEASE

winter money: so i have something to say and i don’t want you to take it the wrong way.

aw life no: that sounds ominous

winter money: i like you a lot clint. i’m really happy we’re going on a real date on friday.

aw life no: me too

winter money: but.

winter money: i want to keep this, whatever becomes of it, between us for now

aw life no: you know what

aw life no: me too

aw life no: our friends are crazy

aw life no: i told nat but, she’ll keep it a secret

winter money: thank god.

winter money: between steve & tony, and what ever the fuck is happening with bruce and thor, i don’t want this to get crazy. yet.

aw life no: we’ve got crazy enough between the two of us

winter money: EXACTLY.

aw life no: want to go for ice cream and pretend it’s not a date to the chat

winter money: i would love to.

* * *

**PIEtro — > maximON **

PIEtro: wanda

maximON: Yes?

PIEtro: uhm

PIEtro: i have something to confess

maximON: If you tell me you ate my chocolate cherry ice cream I’m going to kick your ass.

PIEtro: not that

PIEtro: about tuesday

PIEtro: the emergency movie marathon

maximON: What about it?

PIEtro: peter

PIEtro: we...were cuddling

maximON: OH MY GOD PIETRO!

maximON: DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON PETER?

PIEtro: uh

PIEtro: yes...?

maximON: How did I not see this coming?

maximON: You cuddled him all night long!

maximON: AND FETCHED HIM MORE SNACKS.

PIEtro: wanda stopppp

PIEtro: what am i going to do

maximON: TELL HIM!

PIEtro: i can’t do that what the fuck wanda

maximON: This is why I have a date and you don’t.

PIEtro: harsh

* * *

 

 **Chat** : _cat bird narwhal_

 **Members** : _aw life no, wine aunt, winter money_

wine aunt: This is still a stupid name for a chat.

aw life no: fine

**aw life no has changed the chat name to two russian & a disaster**

wine aunt: I’ll accept that. For now.

wine aunt: Just like I’ll accept, for now, that you two don’t want to share that you pulled your heads out of your asses.

winter money: don’t tell me you and pepper weren’t dating for at least a month before you told us.

wine aunt: Two months, actually.

aw life no: SOME BEST FRIEND YOU ARE

wine aunt: Bitch, please. No one else would ever want to be your best friend.

aw life no: W O W I SEE HOW IT IS

winter money: somehow, i feel like I’M the third wheel here.

wine aunt: You are.

aw life no: you are

~ _tbc_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally have a doc detailing all the chats and who’s a member of which chat at this point.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos fuel my soul! All the support you guys give to this fic makes me smile.
> 
> See you next chapter.


	10. Everyone Has Revelations (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new chat member, names, the dl, yolo, pessimism, and a potential disaster (that works!).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t want to jinx myself but I’m almost done with chap 12 so expect chapt 11 soon. Hopefully.
> 
> This is an...interesring chapter, which brings about the beginnings of More Things. Mixing heavy stuff tm with the shenanigans our nerds are known for.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Oh, and  
> Darcy - on the dl

**Chat** : _give us strength_

 **Members** : _beer aunt, damnvers, overthehill, rescue me, wine aunt_

**wine aunt has added maximON to the chat**

beet aunt: Oooh fresh meat !

damnvers: tash did you add a freshie to this sacred chat

overthehill: ‘Sacred’ yeah uh huh

wine aunt: She’s cool though.

wine aunt: Everyone, this is Wanda. She’s an art student like Steve.

rescue me: Hello! Welcome to the chat

damnvers: the chat made to escape the idiocy of men

beer aunt: I’ll raise my glass to that

maximON: I forgot to ask earlier, but...Natasha, right? Romanoff? You’re Clint’s best friend?

wine aunt: That’s me. How do you know the walking disaster?

maximON: He’s my foster brother

overthehill: well, now we have to adopt her.

damnvers: welcome 2 the gal squad wanda

beer aunt: We have alcohol

beer aunt: Cus ur gonna need it

* * *

**beer aunt — > highki**

beer aunt: Loki

highki: Brunhilde.

beer aunt: Its VAL dammit u know i hate that name

highki: Given that you are a friend of my brother’s, I frankly do not care what you wish to be called.

beer aunt: Thats rich

beer aunt: U of all people should understand what it feels like to want to b called by the name that u chose

highki: ...Fine, Val, what do you want?

beer aunt: U kno thor and jane split up

highki: Don’t know why they were together in the first place.

beer aunt: Loki

highki: She was horrible.

highki: And that’s coming from me.

beer aunt: Maybe its time to try to mend things w/ thor

highki: He can come to me.

beer aunt: Can i tell him that

highki: Do as you wish.

beer aunt: Fine, i will

highki: Fine.

* * *

**maximON — > on the dl**

maximON: Hey

maximON: I’m outside

on the dl: oshit ok i’ll b down in five mins

maximON: Is everything ok

on the dl: yee daisy just has the show on so loud i couldnt hear my phone alarm

maximON: Oh

maximON: How do you feel about cupcakes

on the dl: cant live w/out em

maximON: Awesome

maximON: Pasta house first, then cupcakes & coffee

on the dl: RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS

* * *

 **Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt, winter money_

genius boy: STEVE CONGRATS ON UR FIRST DAY UR GONNA DO SO GREAT BABE

sexy SCIENCE: Tony, this isn’t your private chat.

aw life no: i don’t think he cares

rescue me: He definitely doesn’t

genius boy: I LIVE LIFE WHOLLY

aw life no: YOLO

prince thot: YOLO

winter money: yolo.

wine aunt: No one says yolo anymore.

wine aunt: I’m embarrassed that you’re my friends.

sexy SCIENCE: Honestly, same.

genius boy: BRUCIE BEAR I AM: OFFENDED

americas ass: Guys thank you

wine aunt: You’re going to do great, Steve.

aw life no: i’m going to come buy pencils from you

winter money: clint that’s the best idea you’ve had all day.

genius boy: Its 9am how many awesome ideas has he had today

sexy SCIENCE: And how do you know about them?

aw life no: we’ve been hanging out

* * *

 **Chat** : _bucky & clint are morons_

 **Members** : _americas ass, flybot, genius boy, prince thot, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt_

**genius boy has added rescue me to the chat**

genius boy: ITS HAPPENIN

americas ass: I’m literally so proud

flyboy: wait what

flyboy: whats happening

rescue me: Hi, Sam

flyboy: hey pepper

prince thot: Clint Just Said He And Bucky Have Been Hanging Out!!!!

flyboy: OSHIT ITS HAPPENING

americas ass: I’m tearing up

genius boy: O sweetie

sexy SCIENCE: Mark this down in the books.

wine aunt: Not to be pessimistic...

rescue me: Babe, you’re always pessimistic. It’s part of why I love you

wine aunt: Love you too Pepper.

wine aunt: But you’re all idiots if you think this is going to change anything. Bucky and Clint have “hung out” regularly before.

genius boy: Fuck ur rite

genius boy: This time will b different

prince thot: We’ll Make It Different!

genius boy: EXACTLY

americas ass: Count me in

flyboy: me 2 im t i r e d of bucky’s pining

rescue me: I’m game

wine aunt: This is going to be a disaster.

genius boy: But a disaster that works !

_**~tbc** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos feed the bunnies. Thanks for the continued support.


	11. Drama Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this real quick during lunch. Enjoy you guys.

**Chat** : _two russians & a disaster_

aw life no: so are they all scheming in the group chat they think we don’t know about

wine aunt: Yes.

winter money: amateurs. steve & tony still don’t know about the group chat during the costco fiasco.

aw life no: THAT WAS MY FAVORITE DAY EVER

winter money: really?

aw life no: okay second favorite

wine aunt: *whipping noise*

aw life no: i dare you to try to tell me you’re not whipped for pepper

wine aunt: Oh, no, I completely am.

* * *

**damnvers — > wine aunt**

damnvers: guess who i just made out w/

wine aunt: Maria.

damnvers: WTF HOW DO U KNO

wine aunt: I’m the best, that’s why.

damnvers: eh debatable

* * *

 **Chat** : _foster fam_

 **Members** :  _aw life no, maximON, PIEtro_

PIEtro: I AM GAY PANICKING

aw life no: you’re what

maximON: Pietro.

PIEtro: F U CK

PIEtro: WRONG CHAT

aw life no: yeah you’re not getting away with that

aw life no: wanda?

maximON: Pietro has a big fat crush on Peter Parker

aw life no: wait

aw life no: tony’s minion?

aw life no: omg i can’t wait to tell everyone

PIEtro: ur a shitty brother

aw life no: but i buy you pie

maximON: Fucking pie

PIEtro: PIE IS GREAT FUCKWITS

aw life no: pizza is better

PIEtro: ppfffftt

maximON: Oh, here we go

* * *

 **Chat** : _awesomesauce_  

 **Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, genius boy, prince thot, rescue me, sexy SCIENCE, wine aunt winter money_

aw life no: TONY

genius boy: PRESENT

aw life no: MY YOUNGER BRO HAS A CRUSH ON YOUR MINION

winter money: your what.

sexy SCIENCE: You have a brother?

wine aunt: He has a sister too.

americas ass: How did we not know this

aw life no: because whenever we talk about siblings

prince thot: ):

aw life no: that happens

americas ass: Right

prince thot: I Miss Loki

sexy SCIENCE: Thor...

prince thot: I Wish He Would Just Accept My Apologies ):

wine aunt: You’ll figure it out.

genius boy: U always do Point Break

prince thot: Thank You Friends

* * *

 **americas ass — > winter money** 

americas ass: Buck

americas ass: I just got asked on a date

winter money: tony finally manned up huh.

americas ass: It wasn’t him

americas ass: It was Peggy

winter money: wait, really?

americas ass: Yeah

winter money: the struggles of being pansexual.

americas ass: You’re not helping

winter money: you’ve had a crush on her since we were little.

americas ass: But I’m with Tony now

americas ass: Kind of

winter money: so see if he wants to make it official.

winter money: and don’t lie to him about peggy

americas ass: You’re right

americas ass: Thanks Buck

winter money: this is why i’m the one in an official relationship and you’re not.

americas ass: You’re what

winter money: ...shit.

~tbc


	12. Wanda Has Tea and Thor is Oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bombs are dropped & a lot of one on one messaging, plus the aftermath of Bucky being bad at keeping secrets from Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...it’s been a while, but I’m back. I’ve barely started chapter thirteen, so no promises on a quick update.
> 
> Work is hard. Enjoy, guys.

**Chat** : _oops_

**Members** : _americas ass, aw life no, wine aunt, winter money_

winter money: so.

aw life no: you told him didn’t you

winter money: on accident.

americas ass: He was trying to make fun of me

americas ass: By flexing

wine aunt: Sounds like James. I’m not surprised.

winter money: i’ll fight you.

aw life no: you’ll lose

wine aunt: You’ll lose.

americas ass: You’ll lose

winter money: wow, okay. i see how it is.

aw life no: you love me 

winter money: yeah, i do.

wine aunt: Ew.

americas ass: Awww

aw life no: two types of people

* * *

**Chat** : _the max princess(es)_

**Members** : _actual princess, maximON, the mj_  

maximON: So I have tea

actual princess: I LOVE TEA SPILL

the mj: i’m here

maximON: Pietro

maximON: Has a crush

actual princess: DROP THA NAME

maximON: I’m not THAT mean

the mj: that makes me feel like we know who it is

maximON: Maybe, maybe not

actual princess: OPERATION UNCOVER WHO PIETRO HAS A CRUSH ON: START

* * *

**PIEtro — > spidertrash**

PIEtro: hey

PIEtro: u wanna go see a movie

spidertrash: Literally Y E S I need to stop thinking about chem before my brain explodes

PIEtro: meet u in front of the building in ten?

spidertrash: See you there

* * *

**prince thot — > highki**

prince thot: Loki

highki: I thought I had you blocked.

prince thot: Brother, Please

highki: Have you figured out what you should be apologizing for?

prince thot: Not Believing You About Father.

highki: ...Well it’s progress.

highki: We’ll talk again in a couple days.

**You have been blocked from messaging highki.**

* * *

**prince thot — > sexy SCIENCE**

prince thot: Bruce ):

prince thot: Loki Has Blocked Me

prince thot: I Tried Apologizing

prince thot: It Didn’t Work

prince thot: Again

prince thot: ):

sexy SCIENCE: Well.

sexy SCIENCE: I see his point.

sexy SCIENCE: You can be oblivious to things.

prince thot: I Am Not Oblivious!

sexy SCIENCE: You can be.

prince thot: But I’ve Thought And Thought And I Don’t Know!

sexy SCIENCE: ...

sexy SCIENCE: I’m just going to say I’m not the only one Jane didn’t like.

_** ~tbc ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens.
> 
> All the kudos and comments you guys leave on this fic gives me life. Thanks for the support!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos feed the plot bunnies! Please let me know if you enjoyed this chapter or not.
> 
> I have a bad habit of not finishing stories, so I’m taking steps to insure I finish this one. Chapter Two will be posted when Chaoter Three is completed!
> 
> Bye for now.


End file.
